Rubber Cranium Exit Hole

How best to describe David Lynch’s “Eraserhead”? It’s like discovering after all these years that I’ve got a second anus, and this anus does things completely differently.


The poop doesn’t just drop out of this one to leave a stinky trail requiring a swipe for a tree slice before I can re-bag my junk. No, this newly uncovered manhole fires out all the sunbeams, fog, smoke and thunder I’ve ever swallowed on a tiny pink cow standing on the shoulders of a 43 year old Japanese bird-eating spider with no legs and 8 feet.

That’s something I never knew I could poop.

That’s something I haven’t ever dreamed of pooping.

That’s something I will never poop again.

It’s strange to find something utterly new, that has existed since before you were born, and discover that that thing changes the way you think and see and do what it is you think you do.

That second anus might not sound appealing but given the opportunity, wouldn’t we all want to see what it’s like to have?

Okay, so the answer to that is more than likely “No, you busted mental box,” but that has to be the greatest reply of all. Imagine we all loved the strangest things the most original minds squirted out…

Go on.


Imagine it right now.

Urggg. Weird, right? You’re suddenly watching Irreversible with your granny and she loves the honest brutality of the rape scene. You’re eating French Fancies with your Uncle Dennis as he makes a case for “Salo” to be shown on either ITV1 or ITV2 or ITV3 or ITV4. You’re sharing a bag of burnt Butterkist with your Mum’s mate Joan, as she waxes lyrical on MSN to her elderly sister in Cork about Herzog’s “Even Dwarfs Started Small”.

I’m just like you: I’m an idiot. Nah, just kidding, I’m not an idiot. Nah, just kidding, you’re not an idiot either. Here’s an idiot and a stripper in one:

Sex sells. There was even some side boobage in Eraserhead. Blogs have boobs. Here’s some boobs:


‘Eraserhead’ is incredible. See it. See it with your mum. See it with your mum’s mate Caron. She’s got waccy baccy. Bet ya she does. See it with someone who’ll hate it and understand more about who you are as a human as a result.

I’ve been very visual today. Tomorrow I may write more. Tomorrow I may also discover that second anus for real and if that happens, I’ll be busy pooping for two.



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